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The Bible contains one unified story, which tells about God’s presence among His own people. Marriage is one of the most important themes that pervade the Bible communicating and dramatizing God’s presence. For this reason, the union between one man and one woman functions as a window to the eternal and abiding union between Christ and the church.
Marriage in creation
God created marriage between man and woman to be a harmonious and complementary fellowship which would reflect his holiness, glory, truth, beauty, and presence. The creation of man and woman and the intimate covenant union between them is the climax of the whole creation narrative. In the same manner as heaven and earth, waters and fish, and heaven and birds complete each other, man and woman were created in the image of God to reflect God himself in a unique way, in marriage (Gen. 1:27).
Man was created as the head of the marriage and woman as a helper fitted to him (Gen. 2:20; 1 Cor. 11:3). As one flesh, these complementary roles reflect God’s goodness in his world. This deep and holy relationship and lifelong union contain the gift of friendship, sex, and children as a fruit of it. Family is, therefore, at the center of creation.
Marriage in the fall
The core of the fall is idolatry against God. Trust in the Lord was replaced by rebellion and idolizing his creative work. As a consequence, marriage was also broken. Openness turned into covering up. Respect gave way to shame, infidelity overcame faithfulness. The roles were distorted: man became passive and started avoiding responsibility or misusing it aggressively, and woman became a manipulator, accusing others (Gen. 3:1–20). Bearing and rearing children became burdensome and painful.
Marriage in the Books of Law
One of the purposes of the law was to protect the beauty and holiness of marriage. The sixth commandment, ‘You shall not commit adultery’ (Ex. 20:14), assumes marriage between one man and one woman to be the Lord’s good will for the creation, to practice marital union and sexuality. For this reason, a Jew was exempted for a year from military service, so that he could dedicate himself to the wellbeing of his new wife (Deut. 20:7).
The Old Testament depicts failed marriages in a harsh and open way. Infidelity and polygamy had become a norm in many places. As warning examples, we find the man after God’s heart, David (1 Sam. 13:14), and his wise son, Solomon (1 Kings 4:30), and their problems with women (1 Sam. 11:1–27; Ps. 51:1; 1 Kings 11:4).
Marriage and sex in wisdom literature
Wisdom Literature depicts sex very graphically: Sex with your own spouse is like water that extinguishes thirst. Husbands are told to become intoxicated by their wife’s love (Prov. 5:19). Pastor and author Ray Ortlund makes a fitting comment: “Sex is like fire. In the fireplace it keeps us warm. Outside the fireplace it burns down the house.”
Even though the Song of Songs, as a whole, describes the romantic love between man and woman, readers and academics have rightly asked, whether it analogously speaks about the union between God and his people. Most will reply, “Yes.” Thus marriage, especially as a love and sexual relationship, reflects a deeper union between the Lord and his people. “You also played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger” (Ezek. 16:26).
The Book of Proverbs, which was written particularly for young men, warns about immoral women and the insanity of adultery (Prov. 5:1–14; 6:20–35; 7:1–27). It advises rather to care for the wellbeing of the wife. In this way, the wife will be reliable and “more precious than jewels” (Prov. 31:10–11). On the other hand, graphic depictions of a quarrelsome wife reflect the bitter fruit of the fall (Prov. 21:9, 19; 25:24).
Marriage in the Prophets
The prophets paint a picture of Israel, a people for God’s own possession, as a prostitute. They use this term more than 60 times. Israel has been unfaithful to her own Lord by serving the gods of other nations. You also played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger (Ezek. 16:26). The intimate relationship between God and his people is broken, and the Promised Land, the Lord’s promised paradise, has become a whorehouse. In spite of this, Creator God promises to restore the relationship as the Redeemer, for he is the faithful husband of his people (Isa. 54:5–10). In the end, he will draw sinful adulterers to himself.
Marriage in the Gospels
Jesus confirms marriage to be a union between one man and one woman, referring to the creation order (Matt. 19:3–9; cf. Gen. 2:24). According to him, there are three parties in marriage: the groom, the bride, and God. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Thus, according to Jesus, in marriage God established a lifelong union between man and woman, until death do them part.
Jesus also appoints himself as the ultimate husband (Matt. 9:15; Luke 5:34; John 3:29). In this way he identifies himself to be the Lord, and he also reminds us of the incompleteness of a temporal marriage. It is noteworthy how Jesus forgives people who have failed in the sexual sphere. On the one hand, he reprimands an adulterous generation but on the other hand, he extends the forgiveness precisely to the adulterers and sinners. The ultimate marriage will actually be between Jesus and sinners. Broken idolaters will see the superiority and faithfulness of Jesus. And this marriage will have no end because of the faithfulness of the husband.
Marriage in the letters
Paul clarifies this union between Christ and the church and its significance to be the ultimate purpose of the union between husband and wife. According to Paul, husband and wife with their roles given in the creation reflect the eternal connection between the church body and Christ, her head (Eph. 5:21–28; Col. 3:18–19; 1 Pet. 3:1–7). The purpose of marriage is to show us the gospel.
Since the followers of Jesus have been connected to the Christ, they are one with him. For this reason, Christians are called to reflect God’s glory in their sex life by keeping the marriage bed undefiled and by that way escaping fornication (1 Cor. 6:15–20; Heb.13:4). Sexual sin destroys the real connection in a deep way.
Marriage in Revelation
The author of Revelation depicts an image of the shaking reality of the end times, when blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb (Rev. 19:9), but the portion of the sexually immoral will be the second death (Rev. 21:8). The righteous ones, Christ’s everlasting bride, are fit to enter the feast of purity, goodness and holiness because of their husband’s sacrifice, his death. This bride has been made beautiful for the sake of her husband, and their union of joy and faithfulness will have no end (Rev 21: 1–5, 9). Heavens and Earth are joined together. God in the midst of his people.
Lastly
Marriage between man and woman is a window to something more beautiful and long-lasting. A shared, beautiful home, decoration, delicious food, and a satisfying sex life within a faithful marriage are good and beautiful things. Nevertheless, they are meant to be signs of something even more beautiful, long-lasting, and holy. Many marriages fail or stay in an ongoing state of uneasiness, because the spouses keep seeking the ultimate beauty or purpose of life in each other or in some other person. We make each other idols. We think another person can bring us the ultimate happiness.
When we keep in mind that even the best and healthiest marriage is but a reflection of the utmost faithfulness between Christ and the church, we stop idolizing our own marriages. The most difficult and problematic marriage can be healed when we remember that once our union will dissolve in death. That’s why our hope rests in the everlasting union between the Lord and his people, based on the goodness and faithfulness of Christ. Even sinners, failed in their own marriage and broken because of their own fornication, will find a faithful husband. Even the loneliness caused by singlehood will be gone, and we will experience an unprecedented intimacy with Christ as part of his people. A local church is a foretaste of that union, but for those who trust in Christ, the best is yet to come.