The Great Commission begins at home

In the last 20 years of my ministry in Denmark, many Christian parents have shared with me their concerns about the Danish culture to which their children are exposed and influenced by. Children in Denmark learn swear words in preschool, grow up in more than one household, attend alcohol-laden parties in their early teens, and are exposed to sexually explicit content at young ages. They are introduced to liberal views on sex and sexuality in school and many have their first sexual experience as teens. Also, the youth here demand many freedoms, expect a high level of independence, and demonstrate a minimal respect for those older and in authority.

How can Christian parents in Denmark shield their children from values and behavior that are worldly and contrary to God’s truth, while making sure they grow up to be God-fearing, considerate, and respectful?

Discipling our children

While raising our now-adult children, my wife and I tried to remember that raising children in Denmark, just like in any other culture, is a matter of discipling our children.

God revealed in the law of Moses that the primary responsibility for teaching children the ways of the LORD falls to their parents. Not their school teachers. Not their Sunday School or youth group leaders. Not the government.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says,

God intends for the family to be the learning environment where children see the example in their parents of what it means to “love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deut. 6:5). As His commandments are received into our hearts, we must live them out in the home first. Parents should intentionally and “diligently” teach their children, having conversations with them at home and away, at all times of the day. In other words, there is never a bad time to discuss, teach, and apply God’s commands.

All living before children is training

While Israelite families also literally bound God’s commands to their hands and foreheads, we ought to be constantly aware of God’s presence and let His instructions guide everything we say and do. We must realize that all living before our children is training. Every day, whether we realize it or not, we are training our children and instilling values in them. By our every action and conversation, we are defining to them what is good and acceptable. What we don’t correct in their behavior and speech becomes what is acceptable. So we must be careful to live according to God’s virtues and correct what God calls sinful.

Since it is our God-given responsibility to train our children in the ways of the LORD, we must seize opportunities each day to model God’s instructions and communicate them to our children. If we hope to counteract the influence from our culture, it is critical for us to focus on at least three areas:

The priority of God

We can model before our children that we serve the LORD and walk with Him in a love relationship made possible through Jesus Christ. Our mealtime and nighttime prayers serve as regular reminders to them that everything comes from a gracious and good Father. We demonstrate gratitude instead of entitlement and dependency instead of self-sufficiency. Our children should also see us spend time alone with God, cultivating our relationship with him and modeling before them God’s priority in our lives. Regular church attendance and a love for Christ’s Bride is also critical, especially if we are pastors. Our children may not be called to the ministry but they need to see that God and his family come first. If we want them to fear the LORD and be aware of his daily presence, they need to see that we honor him even in the small things.

The preciousness of others

Our children see our interaction with others daily. They hear how we address others, our conversations about others, whether we lift them up or tear them down. If we value others how the world values people, our children will not understand the value that God places on all people–namely, that they are made in his image and inherently precious to him. Our speech must communicate our high regard and esteem so our children will learn that everyone is worthy of dignity and respect, regardless of their capabilities, skin color, or other physical traits. By being considerate towards people we don’t even know and their property, mindful of those who will come after us or others also trying to enjoy a space, we are teaching our children about the preciousness of others.

Respect for authority

We also ought to have a special kind of esteem for those in authority. By our actions and our words, we teach our children that God has instituted the governing authorities and we submit to them out of our reverence for him. If we undermine their school teachers, speak ill of politicians, and disregard speed limits, we are teaching our children that doing so is acceptable. If we allow them to speak to their parents with contempt, ignore the warnings of the field referee, or cross the street on red, we are training them to be disrespectful of authority. In many Danish schools, the students are on a first-name basis with their teachers, so they see those in authority as their peers. Respect for authority does not require the use of titles, but our children will learn respect for their authorities from what they observe in our home.

Jesus commanded His disciples to “make disciples” and for many of us, our disciples are living with us in our very own homes.

There are certainly many more values our children must learn. We must remember that training our children to be God-fearing, considerate, and respectful in every culture is our calling as parents. Jesus commanded His disciples to “make disciples” and for many of us, our disciples are living with us in our very own homes. As we embark on such a high and noble calling, may the wisdom and grace of God help us to be intentional in our disciple-making.